I have really been wanting to post something for the past 3 days or so, but just haven't been able to find the proper words. Things with me are really spinning out of control and I can't seem to get them back on track. I have been eating horribly! I mean it could be worse, but what it is... is not acceptable! I have been eating things with too much sugar and I've been eating too much pasta. I've been snacking and just feeling like I'm back to that out of control late night snacking too which always makes me feel miserable! The crazy thing I've realized though is that with this slacking in my diet a lot of my health issues have come back almost full force. My heartburn and indigestion is back, my asthma is even back! I don't think I ever realized how much my diet affects my asthma! I hate that feeling of being out of breath. Like you just can't get a clean breathe in no matter what! It scares me! I think it's related to the sugar too somehow. I don't even know if that's even possible, but it seems the more sweets I eat and the more sugar I put in my body the worse my breathing gets. Anyways, my motivation to workout has suffered too. I had a few days where my back was really hurting, and then my hip socket was giving me problems, and then it felt like I had pulled a shoulder muscle. I wasn't even doing anything crazy or anything to cause these pains either. It was just normal everyday life getting me down. I wonder if because of the unhealthy diet and lack of exercise if that is making my body more susceptible to injury. Or maybe I'm just lifting boxes at work wrong. Either way I feel terrible and I blame it all on how much I've been slacking! Besides the diet failing I'm not working out at all. It's freezing outside and I'm not sticking with my "at home" stuff either. It's sad cause I know better and I just can't seem to put words into action these days! It makes me feel even worse when my last post was all about "promises" and making them to myself, and knowing how important it was to start getting back on track then and I haven't. It's gotten worse. I have got to figure out what I can do to get that spark back! I have tried to order myself some fun new workout equipment, like a jump rope, to maybe get past this and start having fun at it again. I think another big part of it has been going without the gym membership. Maybe I need to rethink that and get back there. Or maybe find a new gym. I don't know, but I have to figure this out! I refuse to give up and start slipping further behind! I want this so bad still! I know I can do this I just have to find that spark again! It feels good to "blog it out" though. Tomorrow is a brand new day full of new chances. Hopefully I can suck it up and take that new day and run with it :)